Mother Interview: Really Drawn Out Change of Plans

We’re going to start doing small interviews with our past clients, not necessarily about birth, but about some of the little things surrounding birth.  What was hard, what was the best advice you received, etc…  We hope that in sharing these candid little parts of pregnancy and new motherhood, we can normalize this experience for everyone.  We so often only see the most beautiful parts, or the hardest struggles, of  this major life change.  There is so much more!  All titles for the interviews are chosen by the mothers themselves.
This is MY interview!  Nothing profound, just a casual chat.  If you would like to be interviewed, please let us know, we would LOVE to hear from you.  We hope to have a new interview every month or so. Love, Katy

Katy and Ross get to know baby ZOG
Love at First Sight

Name (Age): KG (31)
City: Ypsilanti
Birth Location(s): Home Birth Transfer to University of Michigan Hospital

SRS: When did you decide to hire a doula? Was it always in your plan, or was there a moment when you decided?
KG: I actually didn’t call on a doula for support until about 36 weeks. I had people who were attending who would be great doulas, so it wasn’t until about 36 weeks that I realized I needed one of them to “take the lead” in managing all the little things that doulas do.
SRS: Who did you have on your birth team?laboring, support, labor
KG: My partner, Ross, my midwife, Beth, my mom (who has worked as a Birth Assistant), and Grace, my best friend (also a trained Doula).
SRS: What do you wish no one would have said to you while you were pregnant?
KG: Are you sure there aren’t twins in there? And all the horror birth stories. All I could think was: Why didn’t you have a doula!
SRS: What 2 things do you wish you would have been told before you were pregnant?
KG: Oh geez… 1. This is probably TMI, but, vaginal discharge! I know a woman’s body goes through all sorts of changes, but man. It wasn’t gross or anything, just like glue! Ugh. 2. I didn’t realize that pregnancy would affect my appetite so much. I didn’t have any interest in food for most of my pregnancy. I didn’t have terrible “morning sickness” but did have mild nausea the entire pregnancy.
SRS: What kept you up at night during your pregnancy?
KG: Insomnia. Which I learned was normal during my late night researching because I couldn’t sleep.
SRS: What were you not able to do while pregnant that you couldn’t wait to do again?
KG: Drink a nice strong beer!
SRS: What is the most indispensable thing that you have needed as a new mom?
KG: Baby carriers. The Moby wrap early on, and my woven wrap into toddler-hood. These are indispensable when trying to get around or get anything done with an infant. At 2 years old, Z also still loves to fall asleep being all wrapped up.
SRS: What was the hardest part about your postpartum time?
KG: Depression.  This was also great, because while depression is hard, I had never been told I was depressed.  Postpartum exacerbated my symptoms, but also helped me see I have been suffering years.
SRS: What was the biggest surprise with the immediate postpartum time?
KG: How much I actually knew about what was best for my baby. Trusting my instincts hasn’t steered me wrong yet.

More babies?!

passive solar house in the woods
Halfway through painting the trim.
There have been big changes going on lately in the Gladwin family. We have officially moved into our new house! (post about that coming soon!) This house has been a dream or ours for many years. Over the last 3 years we have put innumerable hours into dreaming up, designing, hiring, firing, redesigning and building this amazing house that we will live in for the rest of our lives.
baby in a hat
He absolutely loves this hat.
During this time, we also got pregnant and had a baby!  Zachary is an awesome, almost-2-year-old.  He’s full of wonder, too smart for his own good (and mine for that matter) and frankly, a handful.
We have always said we would have 2 kids, for a number of reasons.  The most important to me being that I have always felt like that would feel like a complete family to me.  I grew up with 3 little siblings, and while I love them all and wouldn’t change a thing, I also think that I would have a very hard time giving as much attention as I would want to 4 children.  One has always felt lonely.
Now, I have to admit, I’m not so sure.  Can we just have one and feel like a complete family?  We do, though there has always been the expectation of another soon.  Will I always want another baby?  Even if I have another one, will I still always want yet another baby?  I have plenty of friends who are very happy with the number of kids they have, yet still long for a newborn, and another chance to experience the magic that comes with all the ‘firsts’ of a new life.
I had a difficult postpartum period, Zachary was great and healthy, I was physically healing well.
doula walking Ann Arbor
Out for a walk. Zachary really loves to be walked to sleep on my back. Outside walks always work faster, and he sleeps longer.
Mentally, I was a mess.  It took me almost a year to realize I was dealing with postpartum depression.  I didn’t realize that spring and summer had happened and that we could venture outside until mid-June.  Zero sex drive. Attending births was too scary.  I couldn’t remember the last time I had belly-laughed.  I started several treatment routes, and began to feel more human by September.  The last 10 months have been hard, lots of uprooting and shifting ground, but I have for the most part been able to stay even-keeled and emotionally healthy.
Now, here we are, at the time when we always imagined trying for number 2, and I feel like we JUST got a hold on real life.  So, do we just go for it, know it will be amazing, and life changing – again? Or, do we hold off, wait for things to settle further (will they ever settle?) and then have the conversation again? I’ll let you know where we land.
We built a house!
We had great help through the whole build! Friends and family help us move in on building day.